tarashakti's blog

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
(Mother Teresa)

very good e-books:
making your mind an ocean
reading your mind

We're fragmented into so many different aspects, we don't know who we really are, who we are, or what a aspects of ourselves we should identify with or believe in. So many contradictory voices, dictates and feelings fight for control over our inner lives that we find ourselves scattered everywhere in all directions, leaving nobody at home.
Meditation is bringing the mind home. It's the greatest gift for ourselves to learn to meditate, for its only through meditation that we can undertake the journey to discover the true nature, find the stability & confidence we need to live & die...

Our minds, however are riddled and confused with doubt. Sometimes think that doubt is an even greater block to human evolution than desire & attachment. Our society promotes cleverness instead of wisdom and celebrates the most superficial, harsh, and least useful aspects of our intelligence. We have become so falsely "sophisticated" and neurotic that we take doubt itself for truth, and the doubt that is nothing more than ego's desperate attempt to defend itself from wisdom is deified as the goal and fruit of true knowledge....

Sogyal Rinpoche

Why is that everything changes ? only one answer comes back:THAT IS HOW LIFE IS. Nothing, nothing at all, has any lasting character.
The existence of ours is as transient as autumn clouds.
To watch the birth & death of beings is like looking at the movement of the dance.
A lifetime is like a flash of lighting in the sky, rushing by like a torrent down a steep mountain.

Because i always feel like i have to be in a relationship and that means i have to be fantastic, intelligent, sensitive, full of passion, exceptional person. These effort of seduction forces me to give of my best and that helps. Besides, it's really hard living on your own, and i don't know if it's the best option either.

..is nothing but to find the end of physical & mental suffers..

As we grow older, nothing seems really "interesting" anymore. Even close relationship can be unbearably lifeless. Best friends and lovers can run out of subjects of interest. May be the point is not to seek more exciting experiences, but to realise that the same old stuff is mostly good enough.

Sometime life becomes so cruel as I found myself wishing for death,searching for an exit. All the hopes fade away, dreams become a laughing stock. The world seems smaller and smaller, try its best to suffocate me. Sometime life becomes so trapped I feel like I can't breath. Like my heart has cut into pieces, and my soul has abandon me. All the Love fade away, known faces turn in strangers. They haunt me like some old ghosts, corner me to the wall. Sometime I wish I was never born. When life gets unbearable, all my desperate cries for help. Stay oppressed inside the walls, then, I come to realize...I will never set free. I can never escape. I am forever prisoner.